God became real to me when I was 15. I was depressed and feeling alone in a dark world. At the end of my rope, and in my pain and anger, I began to cry out to God, begging Him to answer “Why did you make me?”
Over the course of a few months I found myself surrounded by people that pointed me to the cross and empty grave. I found Love in my Creator and radically made Him my Lord.
During the same time, I was introduced to missions and began to think and dream about helping children in Africa. I started having vivid wild imaginations of dark skinned kids in third world countries. I could see myself, as an old woman on my death bed, rocking little babies on a porch overlooking the plains of Africa. And began to wonder, again ,about my place in this world.
I was beginning to think I was going crazy. And so one night, at a church worship service, I got on my knees and layed it out on the table, saying, “God, are you calling me to missions? if you don’t tell me in two seconds, I am going to forget about Africa.” I needed an answer, and He knew my heart, because, while I uttered the mental words, “two seconds,” to God, a woman, who I hardly knew placed her hand on my shoulder and asked “May I pray for you?”
Let me just say here, I had not shared this question or interest in missions with anyone, certainly not this woman. But, nonetheless, what she had to say directed my decisions from this day onward. After she prayed for me, she very sheepishly said “Is it okay if I share with you a picture I am getting from the Lord? I feel like He wants me to tell you this, and I really don’t know if it means anything to you.” She continued, “I see you getting off of a small plane, the sun shining bright off your hair, and thousands of dark skinned women and children are waiting for you and the hope that you will bring.”
I am passionate about missions, encouraging people … especially women and kids, midwifery, Africa, worship, and leading/cultivating waves of change across the world. I am a full time Mother Infant RN, and mother to four kiddos, whom I all birthed at home, but I also have a love for music; creating sounds of Hope, with other creators; pure, clean, delicious food; nature; and dancing barefoot outside. My story is not over, it is only beginning.
I was senior in high school and college bound to Ringling School of Art with a 75% scholarship. I met Sarah that year, and we quickly began best friends. She was 15. I was 17. I spent hours painting her and she was quickly becoming a mystery to my art professors. Sarah and I would spend hours on the phone, joking and talking about the world, philosophy, and God.
I grew up in a Christian home, and although I did my fair share of questioning and experimenting with the world, I had encountered God in intimate ways at different times in my childhood. Despite the philosophies and evolutionary teaching I was being schooled in, I was beginning to feel more and more His love and reassurance. Gazing up into the sky, I knew God was intimately looking down (closely, not from Billions of light years away) and loving me for who I am.
I was praying one night, when I was about 17 years old, asking for wisdom for some issue I was having with my family. Like lightning hitting my mind, God suddenly snapped me out from the middle of my prayer and showed me from a first person, bird’s eye view perspective, Army company marching in formation along one of the streets of the Army base.
Next, God showed me myself, in a third person perspective, leading “point” in a fire-team squad of soldiers, as we walked through heavy brush using a compass to find our next coordinate on a map.
Finally, in first person perspective, God took me into darkness. There in front of me was a warm glowing fire. Just past that fire, lit up by the glowing embers, was my new friend Sarah. I could hear worship singing from jubilant voices and sense that there were huge bouncing, gyrating tribal worship dancers going bonkers for Jesus all around Sarah and I. Sarah looked across the fire, at me, and simply smiled. As the open-vision ended abruptly, I knew that God had shown me the answer to my question “Are you real and did you really make me for a purpose?”
My heart cried out to God, asking out loud, “Do you want me to join the Army, and become a missionary to Africa. . . will I marry Sarah?”
AND, Larger than life itself, I could audibly hear a reverberating immensely baritone rumble that emanated out from the center of my house, and from all surrounding directions. That audible voice slowly rumbled the word, “YES!” His voice that sounded like the roar of “many waters” crescendo-ed to a loud cosmic quake.
I never told Sarah about this vision, until 4 years later, after she finally confessed that she loved me (she already knew that I loved her for a couple years). I knew if I told her any sooner, that I would have scared her away, She never knew my heart for missions, during those four years of friendship.
I joined the US Army, became a Sergeant, and served for four years. 7 years after that vision, in May of 2004, I married the woman of my “dreams.” 10 years, and four kids later, God has told us that the time is now to pursue His promise of bringing His gospel to the nations, through us. …. I am passionate about Creation Science, Physics, Educating our children and the children of this world to use their minds to think, and worship an amazing Creator, who has an amazing Sacrificial Love for us all!
These past 10 years of marriage have been a complete adventure. Seasons have come and gone: graduations, Sarah becoming an RN, new jobs, living off of savings, moving ten times, a miscarriage, surprise twins, home births, moving on faith to the mountains of NC where we knew no-one, promotions, lay-offs … especially that year we moved to NC and found out the week before that we were expecting our fourth, 4 kids in 4 years.